Difficult Co-Workers Getting You Down?

It's pretty easy to recognize when working with a difficult co-worker has gotten the best of you. Just consider the warning signs:

You routinely "roast" that person with others over lunch.

You have to unwind with a glass of wine at the end of the day.

You've even devised an elaborate path to the restroom to avoid passing that co-worker's cubicle.

The time to ditch these tactics has arrived. After all, has venting about co-workers or avoiding them entirely ever made them any more pleasant to be around? Chances are they're just as moody, emotionally-draining or as high maintenance as ever -- and you're still miserable around them.

Robert Orndorff and Dulin Clark know your plight and have written an entire book, "The PITA Principle," on how to deal with difficult co-workers. They've even developed a nickname for these people -- PITA -- which stands for "pain in the ass."

"We were drawn to the PITA expression because it says it all in a few simple words. It's a language spoken in private office chats, in whispered exchanges in mailrooms, at happy hours, during dinner-table discussions, or through self-talk in the most private recesses of our own minds," Orndorff and Clark say.

They acknowledge that the world of work is made up of all kinds of difficult co-workers. From the whiney and the pompous to the prima donnas and the slobs, every workplace has at least one -- if not several -- employees who alienate others on a daily basis. In their book, Orndorff and Clark group these types of co-workers into various types of PITAs, such as "Overstuffed PITA" and "Crusty PITA", and outline unique coping strategies for each.

"You might wonder why understanding a difficult co-worker is an important part of coping with them. Why not just act or respond? We believe that by understanding a difficult person or a specific interaction with them increases your likelihood of having a more desirable outcome. This way you can tailor your approach to them based on a reasoned strategy, rather than reacting emotionally," Orndorff and Clark say.

Another important concept in dealing with difficult people is to avoid becoming one. In addition to "pain in the ass," Orndorff and Clark use the PITA acronym to stand for "professionals increasing their awareness." These types of PITAs are able to maximize their experience in the workplace because they work to evaluate themselves, accept others' differences and improve their behavior and attitude in the workplace.

"PITAs of the pain in the ass variety do exist in a variety of types and behaviors. It's equally, if not more important, to understand that the only way to avoid this colorful label is to work on being more self-aware, less defensive and more willing to take an honest look at how well you are relating to others," they say.

Selena Dehne is a career writer for JIST Publishing who shares the latest occupational, career and job search information available with job seekers and career changers. Her articles help people find meaningful work, develop their career and life plans and carry out effective job search campaigns.

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